Can't Win Either Way

Complaints commonly phrased as questions I hear at the hotel: (And what I'd love to say to the people!)

"What? No breakfast?" (We used to have breakfast and people complained. Now we don't and people complain.)
"You can't give anyone my room number?" (These people need to watch more CSI, or even the news)
"What do you mean I need to show ID to get a new key?" (Again, more CSI or the news. We are only concerned about your safety)
"I have to evacuate for the fire alarm?" (Would you rather burn in your room?)
"Why don't you have more smoking rooms?" versus "Why do you have any smoking rooms?"
"Why do you need to see ID? Don't you trust me?" (Have you heard about identity theft?)
"Why can't you use my *insert relative name here*'s credit card without them being here?" (Again, have you heard of identity theft, or even just stolen credit cards?)
"Why can't I have 8 people in a room with 2 beds meant for 4 people?"(Well, we could, but I'd like to not be fined by the fire department.)
"Why do your rates change? They are higher when it's busy." (DUH!?)
"Why did Travelocity/Expedia/Hotels.com/etc. charge me a booking fee/extra person fee/etc?" (Well, they have to make money, after all they are a business. Where do you think they make it?)
"Why are prices so expensive in Boston? I can get the same room for $40 in Podunk, USA." (And how many people come to Podunk for vacation? How expensive is it to live there?)

And the most annoying question I get asked:
"What can I do in Boston?"
(Seriously? You planned a trip to Boston, booked a hotel room for 3 days, and never once stopped to consider what you might do while you are here?) I don't mind when people want a little more specifics, for example: How do I get to the Freedom Trail? Where's a good place for lunch? But to have no idea of what you want to do at all?

If you made it this far, Congratulations! You are now ready to work in the hospitality field.

P.S. Thanks for listening.